Approximately 3 months ago I left the job I detested; an industry that loathed.
About 2 months ago I left the country that was slowly suffocating me.
Before I left for Jakarta, I started a blog (with a horrible domain). While the intent of it was to document my forays into “unemployment” (more like underemployment), the first, and so far only, post on that blog is a hate-filled ode to the career I spent 7years+ “building”. I’m all for acknowledging feelings, be it negative or positive, but nothing should be started with pessimist associations. Having said this, I’m reposting said entry here, because even though that part of my life is something that I’m trying my best to leave behind, I think I should always have a reminder of what kind of life I don’t want for myself
DAY THREE OF UNEMPLOYMENT
it’s been 3 days since i officially did this:
in the months that i dreamed of my agency exit, i always imagined going out in a blaze of glory. but alas, i’ve proved yet again that i’m chicken-shit, opting not to send my could-have-been viral hit, hate-filled farewell message to the team. instead i decided to invoke all the goodness in the world and take advantage of the free beers we all partook in, in celebration of the departure of my negative being from the hell i call office. (better not burn any more bridges just in case i reaffirm my cowardice and beg for employment in the future.) so instead i’ll just post it here as my first blog entry, for posterity.
•let’s just be friends, yah? You made me more jaded by working together (pls, don’t say clients want a branding campaign when they are just really expecting ideas/case studies. tooooootally different brief)
to: the clueless guy
•add this to your no-go topics when drinking with colleagues: DON’T ANNOUNCE YOUR SALARY (better teach me how you got that “agreement”—or is it only a french thing? skin over skill?). not cool
•and of course, stay away from graphic sex talk accompanied by humping gestures unless you wanna be the next [insert the name of the sleaziest person you know]
to: the office bff
•”don’t think, just do”
to: the perennially positive guy
•may you win all the awards you enter in its current flawed state
i can make a number of excuses why i find it abominable to continue working in this industry:
- it gives a 0-experience person 5k while giving an asian fresh grad 2k without blinking an eye (it disappoints me that i chose to celebrate world kindness day a few days after learning this than to actually point out its wrongness; i undoubtedly contributed to the industry’s abusive practices)
- it insists on “packaging” mediocre campaigns, or passing other works as theirs, to enter money-grabbing award shows
- it hires an unneeded employee, forces the headcount on other teams and even changes the JD just to take that person in. meanwhile a team who badly needs the extra hand gets a client’s relative with 0-xp. whut!
i don’t have high morals. the fact that i work in advertising is a testament to this fact. but even i have limits—i can’t take the amorality anymore. i’m perpetuating this fucked up culture by continuing to work here. [to top it off, i had to work with someone who probably, maybe want to sexually assault me (wonder if you’ll still say “he didn’t mean it!” “don’t treat him differently!” if it’s your gf/sister/mother on the receiving end of this. hmmm.) “if you didn’t report stop bitching.” yes, it’s my fault for not reporting.
i started out genuinely wanting to do this. whatever reasons i had, i clung to it for 7 years. now i can’t remember what those are; i just regret i held out this long (a shout out to [insert pitch for client here] and [insert name of the smartest guy in the office here] for reminding and giving me glimpses of what could have been, however brief).
Hopefully this “fuck you!” act of mine causes some ripples in the current status quo that i’ll feel some (nominal) changes IF i choose to come back.
And with that (exit frame)